just breathe

"How on earth are you standing upright?" My doctor asks me, completely flummoxed when she sees the pitiful results of my peak flow test.

Sometimes, when I'm walking outside in the winter or when I'm giving a presentation - I realize that I'm not getting enough air.

I have to remind myself to breathe.

In and out.

Repeat.

It should be easy; it's how I keep myself alive, but it's strange to realize that air isn't getting through, that my inhaler is next to useless and panic is settling into my lungs -